from modelling to self defence
Contains facts relating to a sexual predator, but no graphic descriptions
On July 22nd 1996, a 22 year-old man named Sean Peacock broke into the home of an 84 year-old woman who weighed 35 kilos, and raped her. Based on DNA evidence, he was convicted in 2002 after the amazing woman, aged 90 at the time, testified in court. He served six years in prison despite claiming memory loss (alcohol-induced). During a sex offender rehabilitation program, he was taught photography, which he became rather good at. After his release in 2008 he began working for some of the top modelling agencies and changed his name to Shaun Colclough.
He started bringing young and relatively new models to his studio in Hackney Wick, battered their self-esteem, and induced a sense of terror and vulnerability before sexually assaulting them.
In January 2011, I found myself in his studio. Despite his stream of insults, bizarre questions, and constant repeating of the phrase "you look vulnerable to me," I was one of the lucky ones. I got away with an unwanted hug.
I had booked the shoot based on his glossy portfolio of agency models, but he had a secret website. There, the women looked like hunted animals, backed into corners and against walls, dead-eyed and shielding their bodies. Like me, in this picture.
As I had not been attacked and had no proof, I didn't believe anything could be done, so I tried to get on with life, until his name came up in a chance conversation with another model. He had sexually assaulted her.
This encounter told me two things. I had done nothing to cause the way he treated me, and this was a pattern for him. I had a very well-read modelling blog at the time, so in August 2011, I exposed him, asking other models to come forward and report him. The stories poured in.
The police were dealing with a major incident (Operation Yewtree) at the time, so we did not reach court until 2014. Of fourteen reports, just four of Shaun’s models testified (including me). I had expected court to be the way it is in American films- people yelling at me and banging things, but it wasn’t at all. I was given the option of testifying behind a screen or video link so I never had to look at him. (I chose neither but it was a comfort to others). It was not a pleasant experience, but this kind of thing never is.
Conviction rates are notoriously terrible, so I decided not to hope for one. Instead, my goal was to make him as uncomfortable as possible. To take the fight as far as I could, and then hand the responsibility to the court. If they chose to let another rapist walk free, they'd have to look at me while doing it...
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Shaun was found guilty in two of the four cases, and sentenced to a seven-year sentence for the assaults.
He was banned from taking photos of female models without an adult present with no convictions and full knowledge of his prior offences.
His hard-drive with all his work was destroyed.
He was put on the latest sex offenders register.
During the sentencing, his defence barrister stated that should Shaun decide to appeal, he would not represent him(!)
Shaun also lost his marriage. (His marriage!!!)
The judge stated before sentencing him that she felt his history was connected to his assaults on models, saying “no doubt he deliberately contacted the vulnerable.” That he enjoyed his power and our fear, and that there was escalation: his initial rape defence centred on the idea that it was a drunken impulse, yet this series of assaults had been premeditated and there was the element of further degradation reached by photographing our discomfort and humiliation.
Even more chilling: he had mentioned to one victim that he intended to take a trip to Amsterdam “to photograph pretty women on the street”. This too was brought up as evidence of premeditation. These women, not being professional models, would probably not know how a normal photoshoot should proceed. Even easier targets…
When the judge bellowed “Shaun Colclough, STAND UP” before passing the sentence, I began to shake- I hadn’t dared to hope for even three years, let alone seven. As he was led away, I called out "you look vulnerable to me."
I took these photos about an hour after the leaving the sentencing.
The story got international attention, and I began being interviewed by the press and major news outlets, contributing to panels and discussions about safety in the creative industry. I didn't know it at the time, but my experience was going to lead me down a career path that I had never considered before: self defence.
During my 14-year modelling career, I contributed to the jailing of another very dangerous individual and the exposure of several more. These were relative strangers, but during the #metoo movement in 2017, people I knew started getting outed. Some, I had worked with and trusted. It shocked me that I had unwittingly been so close to people who had preyed on others, been exposed by many sources, sometimes confessed, and one or two actually jailed.
I often heard women ask "why me?"* and I began to wonder "why NOT me?" How had I been getting away safely? Was I doing something that put potential predators off? If so, could it be taught...?
I started to study combat psychology, body language, behaviour patterns, critical thinking, and the facts about assault sex offenders. I asked experts for advice and opinions. I conducted experiments and surveys. I watched people for hours. I came to a conclusion: yes.
But there was more. As a model, I had seen the stigma against my industry firsthand, including the front page of a tabloid that reported on the Colclough case with comments on my profession, appearance and demeanor. If I was to teach any kind of defence technique, there needed to be more than just body language and physical badassery involved. We all need to be able to confidently dismantle stereotypes rooted in misogyny and prejudice, so while I specialised in working with models, I extended my work to all women.
As a model, I have often been told that the skills I have learned will be useless in "the real world", and women of all kinds hear this over and over again. What rubbish! I decided that I would always start by teaching that nobody starts from nothing, and that we already have the foundation for any life skill, including self defence. (It's not all about karate!)
Join me - I'm just getting started!
* because predators believe they can get away with it. This is their fault and decision, NEVER yours.